J

by Hot Dad

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mrenterance
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mrenterance It's just nice with well crafted comedy albums. Favorite track: Party on the Ark.
Scott Daniels
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Scott Daniels I have the Holy Cassette and the Heavenly CD both sitting on my mantle and I've never felt more Blessed! In the name of the Hot Father, the Jesus and the Holy Moly, Amen! Favorite track: Crazy Tonight.
quolsleeves
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quolsleeves Great album, worth every penny. Favorite track: The Prince of the Damned.
Scratch-O
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Scratch-O Hot Dad has an incredible talent for writing catchy pop music, and the funny lyrics are always a welcome addition! J is more of the same, in a good way. “Crazy Tonight” kinda reminds me of The Cure/Robert Smith. Favorite track: Crazy Tonight.
Rocket Verliden
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Rocket Verliden I for one think Hot Dad presents a compelling case for Christianity, better than the entire field of Apologetics. Favorite track: Crack Open a Beer (With Jesus).
mcrmy119
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mcrmy119 Incredible faith music! Praise the Jesus!
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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    The brand new Hot Dad record, J, on limited edition cassette! Super Ferro Normal-bias music grade tape. 13 blissfully holy tracks, joining together to form one sacred—and salacious—sermon. Artwork by Peter Bjorndal. Includes free holographic sticker. Orders placed after 6/26/19 will ship around 7/1/19.

    Includes unlimited streaming of J via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    edition of 333 

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    The brand new Hot Dad record, J, on unlimited edition compact disc! Shrink-wrapped! 13 blissfully holy tracks, joining together to form one sacred—and salacious—sermon. Artwork by Peter Bjorndal.

    Includes unlimited streaming of J via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 108 Hot Dad releases available on Bandcamp.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of 3 Second Rule, I Never Wanted You, Let's Talk About Ham, I Wanna Be Your Keyboard, Children Love the Meat Tank, The Among Us Song, Vibration Hercules, We Should Kiss America, and 100 more. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

      $8 USD or more

     

1.
My Jesus, I waited an eternity Your sweetness brings me security My Jesus, your musk smells heavenly I want you, and I’m just getting started, baby And I wanna be in love with your body tonight And I wanna be in love with your passionate kisses And I wanna be in love with your long brown hair And I love you, baby, Jesus, and I wanna take you there Jesus, holy man in my life We’re gettin’ crazy tonight x 4 My Jesus, I want you to hold me Take off your crown of thorns and have some wine My Jesus, you’re so damn adoring When I’m with you, nothing is boring, baby And I wanna be in love with your body tonight And I wanna be in love with your passionate kisses And I wanna be in love with your long brown hair And I love you, baby, Jesus, and I wanna take you there Jesus, holy man in my life We’re gettin’ crazy tonight x 4 I could end your crucifixion if you just would listen Spend the long nights holding hands and kissin’ Tell the Roman soldiers that you’re on a love mission with me I could end your crucifixion if you just would listen Spend the long nights holding hands and kissin’ Tell the Roman soldiers that you’re on a love mission with me With me Jesus, holy man in my life We’re gettin’ crazy tonight x 6
2.
HBJ 02:34
Happy birthday, Jesus You are so kissable X 3 I wish I was takin’ you home tonight Jesus, you look stunning In that red dress tonight Shakin’ your hips on the dance floor You’re the man of my life Dancin’ and wigglin’, have a good ol’ time I wanna kiss you, baby, wanna make you mine Jesus, baby, you’re comin’ home with me Jesus, we’ll be kissin’ And dancin’ all night Happy birthday, Jesus You are so kissable X 3 I wish I was takin’ you home tonight Jesus, you’re so pretty You’ve got moonlight in your eyes Huggin’ and lovin’, gonna get up close I wanna hold you, baby, tonight You made this guy pick up his guitar and write a song of faith to you Because Jesus, baby, you’re the prettiest man and, baby, I wanna kiss you Jesus, we’ll be kissin’ And dancin’ all night Happy birthday, Jesus You are so kissable X 3 I wish I was takin’ you home tonight
3.
Crack open a beer with Jesus Crack open a beer with Jesus I’m just a man, who wants to have a drink with Jesus I’m just a man who wants to have a beer with Christ Something on tap, don’t pop no bottle cap with Jesus We’ll get some snacks, the beer will complement them well Chug, Christ, chug Chug, Christ, chug Put that beer down your throat x 2 Jesus Christ, please don’t drink in excess tonight x 2 Jesus, Jesus We want you to drink, pl-please, Jesus Jesus, Jesus We want you to drink, pl-please, Jesus Crack open a beer with Jesus x 4 It’s Friday night and I am at the bar with Jesus He died for sins so now we’ll drink an IPA It’s Friday night, the bar is packed, and I’m with Jesus The rapture is near, so now we’ll drink a belgian ale Chug, Christ, chug Chug, Christ, chug Put that beer down your throat x 2 Jesus Christ, if you’re gonna drink, take it easy tonight x 2 Jesus, Jesus We want you to drink, pl-please, Jesus Jesus, Jesus We want you to drink, pl-please, Jesus Crack open a beer with Jesus x 4
4.
Jesus, take me down to the city of love Jesus, take me down to the ocean of fire Jesus, take me down to the disco of sin Jesus, lift me up, baby, then take me higher When you get me goin’, baby, it’s the way you move Then you shake your hips and show me sexy attitude All night we’ll keep on dancin’ to your holy groove You make me lose my mind Jesus, take me there When the night gets hot, we’re never gonna stop Jesus, take me there He’s moving real nice, a dance floor Christ Jesus, holy baby, I won’t put up a fight As long as you keep dancin’ ‘til the end of the night Whisper in my ear every holy desire Every dirty thing ‘til my heart is on fire When you get me goin’, baby, it’s the way you move Then you shake your hips and show me sexy attitude All night we’ll keep on dancin’ to your holy groove You make me lose my mind Jesus, take me there When the night gets hot, we’re never gonna stop Jesus, take me there He’s moving real nice, a dance floor Christ x 2 When you get me goin’, baby, it’s the way you move Then you shake your hips and show me sexy attitude All night we’ll keep on dancin’ to your holy groove You make me lose my mind Jesus, take me there When the night gets hot, we’re never gonna stop Jesus, take me there He’s moving real nice, a dance floor Christ x 2
5.
Jesus Man 04:55
Jesus is a man, and I think that I’m falling in love Every time you hold my hand, it’s your holiness filling me up Jesus is a man, and I think that I’m falling in love You’re so tender and attentive like an angel made of muscles and blood Jesus, you can call me when you need me, baby, it’ll be all right Jesus, if you’re lonely, just say my name, I’ll be by your side Jesus Man, I’ll do whatever I can for your love Jesus Man, don’t let me go, baby, I need you so much I spent 25 long years of my life in pursuit of pleasures of the flesh The only thing I didn’t know was that they could be so holy Jesus is my man, and I know that I’m falling in love Holy lovers making plans, we could spend our lives living in love Jesus is my man, I could never dream of giving him up He takes my breath away, I’m not the same, no other lover could be enough Jesus, you can call me when you need me, baby, it’ll be all right Jesus, if you’re lonely, just say my name, I’ll be by your side Whoa, Jesus, you can call me when you need me, baby, it’ll be all right Jesus, if you’re lonely, just say my name, I’ll be by your side Jesus Man, I’ll do whatever I can for your love Jesus Man, don’t let me go, baby, I need you so much Jesus Man, I’ll do whatever I can for your love Jesus Man, don’t let me go, baby, I need you so much You got me, Jesus You got me goin’ now You got me, Jesus, tonight x 4 Jesus Man, I’ll do whatever I can for your love Jesus Man, don’t let me go, baby, I need you so much (Jesus!) Jesus Man, I’ll do whatever I can for your love Jesus Man, don’t let me go, baby, I need you so much (Jesus!) J-J-Je-Je-Je, J-J-Je-Je-Jesus J-J-Je-Je-Je, J-J-Je-Je-Jesus
6.
When the daylight fades, I’ll meet you at the pearly gates Heaven can’t wait for your holy, salacious games Please don’t hesitate, I’ve been needin’ you, I can change Hand in hand, heart to heart, my Jesus, shining star Lost in a dream, your holy smile What would it take to drive you wild? You shake those hips, you do it right Oh, holy Jesus, I need you tonight I’m lovin’ you forever, baby, Jesus, you know it’s true Couldn’t ever love another, and I mean it, my heart’s for you Every night when I’m sleepin’, it’s the same thing, I dream of you Been waitin’ my whole damn life for sexy heaven nights How could I live without you? Jesus, it’s all about you Make love to you night and day I don’t ever wanna stop How could I live without you? Jesus, it’s all about you Make love to you night and day I’ll never stop lovin’ you I don’t wanna lose my Jesus tonight I don’t wanna lose my Jesus tonight Sweet dreams in the dark Heavy breathin’, your beating heart When you came into my life, I was needy, I was falling apart Fruitless to resist your tenderness and your kiss Hand in hand, heart to heart, my savior, holy star Lost in a dream, your holy smile What would it take to start your fire? You shake those hips, you do it right Oh, holy Jesus, I need you tonight I’m lovin’ you forever, baby, Jesus, you know it’s true Couldn’t ever love another, and I mean it, my heart’s for you Every night when I’m sleepin’, it’s the same thing, I dream of you Been waitin’ my whole damn life for sexy heaven nights How could I live without you? (Live without you) Jesus, it’s all about you (All about you) Make love to you night and day I don’t ever wanna stop How could I live without you? Jesus, it’s all about you Make love to you night and day I’ll never stop lovin’ you Lost in a dream, your holy smile What would it take to start your fire? You shake those hips, you do it right Oh, holy Jesus, I need you tonight I’m lovin’ you forever, baby, Jesus, you know it’s true Couldn’t ever love another, and I mean it, my heart’s for you Every night when I’m sleepin’, it’s the same thing, I dream of you Been waitin’ my whole damn life for sexy heaven nights x 2 I don’t wanna lose my Jesus tonight I don’t wanna lose my Jesus tonight
7.
Holy 01:02
Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy Hol-Holy Holy Lord Hol-Holy Holy Lord Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy (Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy) Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy (Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy) Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy (Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy) Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy (Holy, Holy, Holy, Holy) Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy (H-H-H, H-H-H, H-H-H, Holy) Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy, Hol-Holy (H-H-H, H-H-H, H-H-H, Holy)
8.
Jesus I want you Jesus I need you When you're touchin' my body The feelin' is right Jesus you're in me Can't get you out of my head The thoughts lead to dreamin' About the nights in my bed When the sweat starts drippin’ down, I can’t stop us now, I wanna take you there, Jesus When your body starts touchin’ mine, our hearts beat in time, I wanna take you home, Jesus Heavenly father, gonna make you scream, gonna scream my name, when I touch you, Jesus Now my bed is the only place where I see your face, and I love you, Jesus Jesus, show your heavenly body To me x 2 Jesus I saw you From across the room You were showin' your body To bring me to you Jesus we're kissin' now Finally alone So holy inside me My savior of love When the sweat starts drippin’ down, I can’t stop us now, I wanna take you there, Jesus When your body starts touchin’ mine, our hearts beat in time, I wanna take you home, Jesus Heavenly father, gonna make you scream, gonna scream my name, when I touch you, Jesus Now my bed is the only place where I see your face, and I love you, Jesus Jesus, show your heavenly body To me x 4 Jesus, I need you to be there for me, baby There for me, baby Jesus, I need you to be there for me, baby There for me, baby Jesus, I need to believe that you’re there for me, baby There for me, baby Jesus, I need to believe that you’re there for me, baby There for me, baby Jesus, show your heavenly body To me x 4
9.
There’s a party on the Ark, for beasts and men And Noah’s on the dance floor, drinking his gin Polar bears, and snakes in twos, waiting for you Bon voyage, we ain’t stoppin’, this crowd’s like a zoo Start taking designer drugs and you will see Jesus Oh wait, he’s takin’ ‘em too, over by the apes and kangaroos Start sharin’ eternal love with hundreds of creatures This party, it won’t stop until the waters drop Party on the Ark, you know it’s waitin’ for you Party on the Ark, set sail with nothin’ to do Party on the Ark, let loose and open your heart Party on the Ark, you prayed for a good time, and you got it There’s magic on the ark, a new kind of party Creatures mating in the dark, new species are starting Got enough beer for a year, and cocaine/ecstasy too DJ Christ spinning records, you know what to do Start taking designer drugs and you will see Jesus Oh wait, he’s takin’ ‘em too, over by the apes and kangaroos Start sharin’ eternal love with hundreds of creatures This party, it won’t stop until the waters drop Party on the Ark, you know it’s waitin’ for you Party on the Ark, set sail with nothin’ to do Party on the Ark, let loose and open your heart Party on the Ark, you prayed for a good time, and you got it A million sexy beasts, all on one hard piece of wood Touching, sweating, dancing Living in a contained universe of darkness and sin while the non-believers burn and perish Corpses littering the earth, rivers flowing red with blood, horrors beyond horrors And I wonder, could this party possibly get any hotter? Start taking designer drugs and you will see Jesus Oh wait, he’s takin’ ‘em too, over by the apes and kangaroos Start sharin’ eternal love with hundreds of creatures This party, it won’t stop until the waters drop Party on the Ark, you know it’s waitin’ for you Party on the Ark, set sail with nothin’ to do Party on the Ark, let loose and open your heart Party on the Ark, you prayed for a good time, and you got it
10.
Please kill us, Jesus, for hurtin’ you Please end our lives for hurtin’ you, for hurtin’ you, Jesus Nail us to the cross for killin’ you Make us bleed all night for killin’ you, for killin’ you, Jesus If you take our lives, it would be holy If you kill our friends, it would be good Kill our parents, our brothers and sisters, Jesus We murdered you, so do us J-J-J-J-Jesus died And we’re gonna die next J-J-J-J-Jesus died And we’re gonna die next Please kill us, Jesus, for hurtin’ you Please end our lives for hurtin’ you, for hurtin’ you, Jesus Nail us to the cross for killin’ you Make us bleed all night for killin’ you, for killin’ you, Jesus You could kill me in an accident, oh, Jesus You could break my bones, crush my spine You could cut my throat, dear Jesus I would gurgle your holy name ‘til I die J-J-J-J-Jesus died And we’re gonna die next J-J-J-J-Jesus died And we’re gonna die next Please kill us, Jesus, for hurtin’ you Please end our lives for hurtin’ you, for hurtin’ you, Jesus Nail us to the cross for killin’ you Make us bleed all night for killin’ you, for killin’ you, Jesus
11.
When it’s holy, you know it’s holy When it’s holy, you know it’s holy When it’s holy, you know it’s holy When it’s holy, you know it’s holy Holy Holy Holy Holy Holy
12.
Ooh, whoa-oa, Jesus You are the Prince of the Damned Ooh, whoa-oa, Jesus The Holy King and my man Ooh, whoa-oa Oh, Jesus, I choose to believe I’ve got the soft touch that you need I’m certain you’re smitten with me I’ve got a great personality Oh, Jesus, we need to be Holy lovers for eternity Kissin’ and touchin’ so playfully You’re on my mind almost constant Oh, Jesus, hold my body when the feeling’s right Oh, Jesus, we’re in my bed in the middle of the night Ooh, whoa-oa, Jesus You are the Prince of the Damned Ooh, whoa-oa, Jesus The Holy King and my man Ooh, whoa-oa I know, Jesus, your love ain’t free I’ll buy you flowers, give you luxuries 10 carat diamonds, and nights on the beach You taste like heaven, so tangy and sweet We’ll swim with holy dolphins and visit holy seas Sharing holy dinners, eating holy meats Muscular, yet tender, burly yet serene My sexy savior, the holiest belief Oh, Jesus, hold my body when the feeling’s right, Lord Oh, Jesus, we’re in my bed in the middle of the night Oh, Jesus, gettin’ holy when the feeling’s right Oh, Jesus, we’ll live forever, nothing can stop us now Jesus, Jesus x 8 Ooh, whoa-oa, Jesus You are the Prince of the Damned Ooh, whoa-oa, Jesus The Holy King and my man Ooh, whoa-oa x 2 Ooh, whoa-oa, Jesus
13.
Would Christ’s son be free from sin? How would he deal with the temptations of the world that his Father made? Would his soul be pure? Would his actions be purer? Or would he fall victim to the wages of sin? Christ’s son is a little bit rough ‘round the edges He ain’t the only one I know it’d be a little bit tough having angels telling you to straighten up Christ, please Go easy on your son Christ, please Give your son a break, Jesus What if Christ had a boy, would he be a good kid? What if Christ had a son, would he play college football? What if Christ’s son knocked up some girl in the bathroom of a bowling alley? Would Christ punish his own son, or die for his sin? This just in, Christ’s son did sin He slept with the girl from the bar, took her home, put her in his bed Shining down from heaven, Jesus watched the deed He saw his boy inside of a woman, to fulfill his need The bed rocks in the sea of sin She cries out, “Please!” Sweat-covered bodies, an unholy deed Christ’s son is a little bit rough ‘round the edges He ain’t the only one I know it’d be a little bit tough having angels telling you to straighten up Christ, please Go easy on your son Christ, please Give your son a break, Jesus x 2 What if Christ had a boy, would he be a good kid? What if Christ had a son, would he play college football? What if Christ’s son knocked up some girl in the bathroom of a bowling alley? Would Christ punish his own son, or die for his sin? x 2

credits

released June 23, 2019

All tracks written, performed, and mixed by Hot Dad (Erik Helwig)
Mastering by Andrew Maury
Additional Vocals on “Heavenly Body” by Anat Belasen
Bass on “Jesus Take Me There” and “Party on the Ark”, guitar on “When It’s Holy”, and whistling on “HBJ” by Corey Johnson


Sample "Applause_very_long.wav" by BugInTheSYS used under the Creative Commons license CC-BY v0.
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about

Hot Dad Ithaca, New York

I make emotionally-charged weird music.

Check out my YouTube channel:
www.youtube.com/hotdad

Here's my Patreon:
www.patreon.com/hotdad

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