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The Chowder Man

by Hot Dad

supported by
skokapus13
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skokapus13 this feels like an actual album from the mid 80s Favorite track: Christmas Pain in Christmas Town.
jaredstander
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jaredstander People severely undervalue the moving, epic rock opera that is Ready To Shave. Seriously, "Spray the shaving cream into my hand, lather up the world don't understand. Man inside the mirror now, should I finally let him out?" Never have I heard a song so eloquently grapple with themes adolescence and self-discovery--how crucial of a rite of passage shaving is for young men. I don't give a hecking crap if people think this is a joke song, this has real heart, and you can hear it in every line. Favorite track: Ready to Shave (feat. Dave Pino).
keanu reeves
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keanu reeves he is the chowder man Favorite track: I Am the Chowder Man.
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1.
Hypnospace is really, really cool All the kids are talking about it at school Cool skateboard tricks, amazing tips and eating Boppo’s chips We all love Hypnospace so much, it rocks, it is the best Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypno-hypno, Hypno-hypnospace I got a girlfriend using Hypnospace She’s beautiful, I think she’s really great I made so many new friends because Hypnospace is cool They come to my house where they use my brand new swimming pool Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypno-hypno, Hypno-hypnospace I use Hypnospace every single night I love to hang in the Coolpunk Paradise My parents said that I can get a Hypnospace tattoo I have so many virtual pets, it’s like a virtual zoo Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypno-hypno, Hypno-hypno Hypno-hypno, Hypno-hypno Hypno-hypno, Hypno-hypno Hypno-hypno, Hypno-hypno
2.
Gray's Peak 00:44
Ya gotta drink it up All day and all night Then ya gulp it down After you chill it right So many other beverages Which one is the best? How can you tell? It’s colder than the rest Gray’s Peak Store it in the fridge inside your house Gray’s Peak Pour it in cups and put it in your mouth Gray’s Peak Quench your thirst, icy rush, wow Gray’s Peak Conquer the frozen summit, scream it loud The Mountains of drinks You gotta climb Gray’s Peak
3.
Granny Cream's Hot Butter Ice Cream We take the hot butter Mix it with the ice cream Freeze it up cool, you can see it on your screen Put it in your microwave, make it real hot Like a soup or a dip We call it Heat 'n' Sip Very tasty and healthy, too Granny Cream's Hot Butter Ice Cream
4.
I’m the Chowder Man I simply love to party I never wake during A.M. Because of all night parties Go to Happy Birthday Hotel I’ll book a suite to party Fill up the suite I booked With babes eager to party When the moment of party arrives Then the Chowder Man says, “Meet me in the lobby” Ride the elevator, rocket to the sky Responsibility, I got an spare room key Hey baby, come over to the Chowder Man’s hotel room It’s probably time to party Hey baby, it’s gonna get wild, gonna light up the night There’s gonna be a party This party ain’t gonna stop when it’s time to rock with the Chowder Man Order room service A steamin’ platter of party Sippin’ bubbly, yeah Charcuterie and whiskey (Only the good stuff) Bikinis and tuxes A limo, Madd Mann Chopperz I’m so famous, yes I’ve got a Chowder Copter When the moment of party arrives Then the Chowder Man says, “Join me in jacuzzi” Ride the elevator, rocket to the sky We’re havin’ so much fun, the Chowder Man is number one Hey baby, come over to the Chowder Man’s hotel room It’s probably time to party Hey baby, it’s gonna get wild, gonna light up the night There’s gonna be a party Oh yeah, oh yeah We’re gonna crank it up Oh yeah, oh yeah We’re gonna do it right Oh yeah, oh yeah We’re gonna party real hard Feel the power of the party, let it guide you through the night Hey baby, come over to the Chowder Man’s hotel room It’s probably time to party Hey baby, it’s gonna get wild, gonna light up the night There’s gonna be a party This party ain’t gonna stop when it’s time to rock with the Chowder Man This party ain’t gonna quit, never sick of it Hey, I’m the Chowder Man That’s right, I am the Chowder Man
5.
I’m the Chowder Man, my title for life If you’re hoping to find me, just look into the light It’s not about food, it’s a life philosophy You gotta be the strongest, and fight to succeed I’m climbing the mountains, I’m swimming the rivers I’m the eagle in the sky, and I’m ready for dinner Life’s a highway, and I am the car If you ride with Chowder Man, you’re gonna go far I am the Chowder Man I am the Chowder Man I’m the Chowder, Chowder, Man I’m the Chowder, Chowder, Man Stand up tall, let the Chowder be your all High five the world, let the Chowder be heard I like to eat right, I choose healthy snacks The Chowder Man even writes his own raps I always party hard, I’m the best in the biz I’m the Party Prophet, that’s just the way it is I don’t buy a round of drinks, I buy a square When I smoke cigars, I only smoke ‘em in pairs Inspiring things are really, really, really great If you’re askin’ about my hobbies, I garden and paint I’m spreading my message, and fighting the greed I suspect the Chowder Man is all you need I love to gamble, and I love to dance This Chowder Lifestyle, hey, give it a chance I’m the Chowder Future and the Chowder Past And if you mess with me, I’ll kick your Chowder Ass I am the Chowder Man I am the Chowder Man I’m the Chowder, Chowder, Man I’m the Chowder, Chowder, Man I am the Chowder Man I am the Chowder Man
6.
Kruncher 00:43
Guess who’s back? I know you missed me Kruncher’s here There ain’t no way you’re gonna forget me I’m ready to rock forever Bring the heat, bring the power I was born for this Calling out to all the Muscle Boyz and the Freak Chicz: Are you ready? I’m gonna teach you the ways of Kruncher There’s three important points: Number one: Radio Edit Number two: Radio Edit Number three: Radio Edit Pop Quiz coming later, punk Better hope you pass. Join the Madness Movement Hypnospace tag kruncher
7.
Squisherz 00:20
Squisherz are really cool Squisherz are so much fun They're slimy gooey animals Giraffes and wolves and so much more Buy, squish 'em, you've gotta collect 'em all Squisherz
8.
Baby, it's been so long and I need you more than ever The lonely nights searching for answers You were waiting there for me Now you’re here in my arms and the warmth in my heart Will never fade away Love became something I never could count on I was drifting hopelessly But then I found you, and I had my proof That love would never leave me behind And all the time that we share, and the glorious days On the beaches of love, in the warm summer rain Together forever, all my dreams came true It’s perfect ‘cause I’ve got you Desperate in Dallas, Montana
9.
Whiskers growing at the speed of light Put the trimmer into overdrive Thoughts are runnin’ through my mind Just the bathroom and the night Spray the shaving cream into my hand Lather up, the world don’t understand Man inside the mirror now Should I finally let him out? I’m gonna shave I’ll put the razor on my skin Gliding along my flesh I need Confidence and patience Infinite world A galaxy of innocence It’s true, I am the Chowder Man This is my contrition I’ve got the blade and I’m ready to shave I’m not afraid, I won’t look away 5 o’ clock the shadows haunt again Melancholy darkness ‘round my lips Appetite, I’ll show you how I want your love, I need you now A stubble crown, I am the king Seize the moment, spread my wings Press the metal to my face Braver, stronger every day I’m gonna shave I’ll place the razor on my skin Gliding along my flesh I need Confidence and patience A universe Addicted to the loneliness It’s true, I am the Chowder Man Hear my declaration May this sharpened edge bring me peace The truth, freed from the arms of chaos, arrives slowly, methodically A star in the sky, the Earth rumbles, a drone so sincere And I’m not frightened, I just am I’ve got the blade and I’m ready to shave I’m not afraid, I won’t look away Like the thunder and flames in a lovers’ embrace I will clean the slate of the growth, shear the pain away Chowder Man, ready to shave Chowder Man, carry the blade Chowder Man, break the chains The Chowder Man, free again Bold and strong, we shave The journey starts on the face Creation, love, destruction Untie the strings of blindness Accept my humble sacrifice Let the embers glow Secrets hiding underneath Shave me, guide me back To my home I’ve got the blade and I’m ready to shave I’ve got the blade and I’m ready to shave I’ve got the blade and I’m ready to shave I’ve got the blade and I’m ready to shave We’ve got the blade and we’re ready to shave We’ve got the blade and we’re ready to shave We’ve got the blade and we’re ready to shave We’ve got the blade and we’re ready to shave
10.
Chowder Man’s doing bad Chowder Man’s feeling sad Chowder Man is not enough Chowder Man’s burning out This Chowder Life is going south These Chowder Days ain’t the same Anymore The Chowder Man, please come back home The Chowder Man, please come back home Had it all, gone too fast These Chowder Times, never last A Chowder World, in collapse Wanderin’ these Chowder Plains Regrets flowing through my veins In a drought of your love I’m swimming in the quicksand I wish that you would take my hand Guide me to the Chowder Land Whiskey bottles, random trash A Chowder Clown with no act You whisper “Chowder Man, please come back home” The Chowder Man, please come back home The Chowder Man, please come back home The Chowder Man, please come back home The Chowder Man, please come back home
11.
Hypnospace is really, really cool All the kids are talking about it at school Cool skateboard tricks, amazing tips and eating Boppo’s chips We all love Hypnospace so much, it rocks, it is the best Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypno-hypno, Hypno-hypnospace I got a girlfriend using Hypnospace She’s beautiful, I think she’s really great I made so many new friends because Hypnospace is cool They come to my house where they use my brand new swimming pool Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypno-hypno, Hypno-hypnospace I use Hypnospace every single night I love to hang in the Coolpunk Paradise My parents said that I can get a Hypnospace tattoo I have so many virtual pets, it’s like a virtual zoo Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypnospace, Hypnospace Hypno-hypno, Hypno-hypno Hypno-hypno, Hypno-hypno Hypno-hypno, Hypno-hypno Hypno-hypno, Hypno-hypno
12.
Woke up Christmas morning, I could feel it in my bones He was coming here, he would enter my home Climbing down the chimney, bag of secrets on his back You could sense my pain, but you were stronger than that I can’t, I can’t wait to open all my presents I can, I can change, I’ll be the one you needed Please, honey, you should stay, we’ll work it out together Santa’s on his way, he’ll make it better Coulda been good ones, coulda been bad ones Coulda been only ones Shoulda been bolder, shoulda been brave enough Shoulda been there when you needed me the most I wish that you were here, Christmas time in my home But Santa Clause is crying and the Chowder Man knows I’m drownin’ in the sorrow, lost presents and love There’s Christmas pain in Christmas Town Bottle in my hand, try to drink it away The snow is falling down, I’m so cold and afraid Baby, I need you in my life, but you ain’t comin’ ‘round There’s Christmas pain in Christmas Town Felt just like a present, empty box, wrapped up with bow Open me up, baby, you’ve got nothing to show Reindeer in the sky, a sleigh with magic in the back I only let you down, I see a problem with that If I, if I could, I would slide down your chimney I would, I would bring tenderness and compassion I dream of your face, most nights during my slumber Please let the Chowder Man make it right Coulda been good ones, coulda been bad ones Coulda been only ones Shoulda been bolder, Shoulda been brave enough Shoulda been there when you needed me the most Coulda been good ones, coulda been bad ones Coulda been only ones Shoulda been bolder, Shoulda been brave enough Shoulda been there for you, baby To hold you tight I want you coming here, Christmas time in my home But Santa Clause is crying and the Chowder Man knows I’m drownin’ in the sorrow, lost presents and love There’s Christmas pain in Christmas Town Bottle in my hand, try to drink it away The snow is falling down, I’m so cold and afraid Baby, I need you in my life, but you ain’t comin’ around There’s Christmas pain in Christmas Town Under mistletoe I dream Two pairs of lips, just her and me But she ain’t there so we ain’t gonna kiss In Christmas Town I wish that you were here, Christmas time in my home But Santa Clause is crying and the Chowder Man knows I’m drownin’ in the sorrow, lost presents and love There’s Christmas pain in Christmas Town Bottle in my hand, try to drink it away The snow is falling down, I’m so cold and afraid Baby, I need you in my life, but you ain’t comin’ ‘round There’s Christmas pain in Christmas Town There’s Christmas pain in Christmas Town There’s Christmas pain in Christmas Town There’s Christmas pain in Christmas Town There’s Christmas pain in Christmas Town There’s Christmas pain in Christmas Town

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released March 12, 2019

"Ready to Shave" — Guitar solos by Dave Pino
"Hypnospace is Cool (Xtra Hypno Mix)" — Additional COOL sounds by Jay Tholen

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Hot Dad Austin, Texas

I make emotional comedy music.

Check out my YouTube channel:
www.youtube.com/hotdad

Here's my Patreon:
www.patreon.com/hotdad

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